me either

一千塊

8月 12, 2013

黃懷雙

kuso

Log in with either your Library Card Number or EZ Login法官：「你說那個陌生男子摸遍你全身， 最後把妳牛仔褲小口袋裏的一千塊搶走了。」 美鳳：「一點也不錯。」 法官：「當時妳為什麼不大聲尖叫？」 美鳳：「啊呀！人家當時哪裏知道他要的是錢呢？」The credentials entered are incorrect. Log in with either your Library Card Number or EZ Login Library Card Number or EZ Username Last Name or EZ Password * Phone (Last four digits) *Not required for EZ Login Remember Me...

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爆笑點名 老師當場氣絕身亡

8月 12, 2013

張易旋

kuso

Benzo Withdrawal Help | Healing One Day At A Time.學校開學點名，老師別出心裁說：「我念學號，你們自己報名字，這樣大 家就認識了，好不好？」 「1號！」 「報告老師，我姓焦，我叫焦配。」 老師有點暈，問道：「這是誰給你取的？」  「我爹。」 「你爹是幹什麼的？」  「開種豬廠的！」 「2號！」  一個女生站起來Healing One Day At A Time. ... As my brain and CNS repairs itself, I find being benzo free such a sweet, sweet state to live in! I can honestly say that my life now is the best it has ever been....

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知己知彼以退為進

8月 12, 2013

彭靜菱

kuso

Starlo Jungle StiX Rods | starlofishing一男趕集賣豬，天黑遇雨，20頭豬尚未賣，到一農家借宿。少婦說，家裡只我一人不便。男：求你了大妹子，給豬一頭。少婦說：好吧，但家裡只有一床。男：我也到床上睡，給豬一頭。女：同意。半夜男商女：我到你上面睡。女害臊不肯。男：給豬兩頭。女允，要求上去不能動。男：行。少傾，男忍不住，央求動一下，女不肯。男：動Starlo Jungle StiX Rods Our mission on this project was to create the latest innovative range of rods in the well-established Shimano Starlo Signature Series (designed by Ian ‘Barra’ Miller). We wanted a set of classy sticks to fit alongside or just above...

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大學寢室里的“爆肚”片段

9月 11, 2013

郭靖萍

kuso

The Beatles - Can't Buy Me Love (Live) - YouTube大學書本堆成山，學海無涯無了期。幸有層出不窮的的“爆肚”片段，使大學四年在笑聲中不知不覺度過……  “爆肚”一：  某夜, 寢室臥談持續至凌晨三點, 突然想討論一個問題: “碰到一個漂亮姑娘,Video of the Beatles performing CAN'T BUY ME LOVE, circa 1964. Crowd is really loud and annoying; funny white guys dancing in the background make up for it though....

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不要輕易看老婆的日記

9月 11, 2013

謝語蘭

kuso

Is Marriage Good for Your Health? - NYTimes.com周末，老公正在書房讀書，忽然兒子鵬鵬神秘兮兮地鉆了近來!兒子：老爸！你看我找到了什么！！這可是我本世紀最最偉大的發現！！！老公：嘿嘿，什么東東這么神秘？過來，讓老爸看看兒子（走到老公跟前，手里拿著一個本子）：別急！你先答應請我吃一頓肯德基!老公：可以、可以，你先給我！兒子：說話算數？老公：我跟你拉鉤Farr’s was among the first scholarly works to suggest that there is a health advantage to marriage and to identify marital loss as a significant risk factor for poor health. Married people, the data seemed to show, lived longer, healthier lives. “Marriage...

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愛的幽默

9月 11, 2013

范姜映梅

kuso

An orgasm almost killed me! - Salon.com當妳讀這短訊，妳已欠我壹個擁抱；刪除這短訊，欠我壹個吻；要是回復，妳欠我全部；要是不回復，妳就是我的了。 我要妳做世界上第二幸福的人,妳會問:為什麼不是第壹,因為讓我認識到妳,我就是世界上最幸福的人。  妳知道的嘛……像妳這幺醜的壹定嫁不出去…&hPerverted. Masturbating on your older brother’s wedding day is perverted, isn’t it? Well then, call me a perv. Because that’s what I was doing in my hotel room a few hours before the ceremony. March 17, 2000. Twenty-five years old. The day before, I had f...

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