so give me give me love

夜床上的對白偷錄

10月 2, 2013

葉詩萍

kuso

Give Me My Remote: The latest TV news, gossip, recaps, reviews and exclusive behind-the-scenes scoop女：為什麼要同居？  男：親愛的，這樣不好嗎？  女：既然同居了，為什麼還不結婚？只要辦個手續就行了。  男：既然同居了，為什麼還要結婚？多一道手續幹嗎？！  女：結婚保險，還有證書——   男：但愛情還需要保險嗎？The latest TV news, gossip, recaps, reviews and exclusive behind-the-scenes scoop. The home of The TV Talk Podcast. ... SLEEPY HOLLOW: Heather Kadin Previews Season 3’s Big Bad, Mining Abbie/Ichabod’s Relationship, and More While we're still months ......

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女生看一半，男生全看完

10月 2, 2013

王映夏

kuso

I’m a Lawyer, But Not Yours — So Don’t Ask一天，女人外出打高爾夫球。 她把球打進了樹林，就進去找，結果發現一隻困在陷阱裡的青蛙。青蛙對她說：“如果你放我出去，我就可以滿足你的三個願望。”  女人釋放了青蛙，青蛙說：“謝謝你，但是我忘了和你說了，你的願望實現有個條件，你的老公將會以十倍的程度來實現A girl I know scratched her neighbor’s car while parking. The neighbor’s car was partially blocking her driveway, and the neighbor was out of town for a couple weeks, so she couldn’t ask him to move. She found me on G-Chat a few days after this and was sc...

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裙子夾在屁股縫

9月 11, 2013

林凝晴

kuso

Romantic Love Poems, Letters and Messages - Love messages甲和乙是好友，有一天，甲看到乙的眼睛黑青，甲連忙問乙的眼睛怎麼了？乙：我昨天在電車被人打的甲：為什麼會被打？乙：昨天在電車裡看到一個胖女生的裙子夾在屁股縫，我的覺得很不舒服， 所以我就幫她拉出來…結果就被打了甲：那為什麼兩眼都黑青呢？乙：因為她打我，我覺得很害怕，所以我又幫她塞回去&hThough I know you are somewhere out there to keep me safe in my life, I miss... I miss your lively eyes, your cheerful smile, you warm hands, your soft lips, the words and voice that came out of your mouth that were like music to my ears, your laughter. P...

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拜金妻子

9月 11, 2013

郭從芙

kuso

Esther Rantzen: do I dare give love one more chance? - Telegraph西洋情人節時， 老婆：「親愛的！我喜歡法國香水！」 七夕情人節時， 老婆：「親愛的！鑽石代表永恆！」 老婆生日時， 老婆：「親愛的！我…」 老公：「等一下，親愛的老婆！妳有沒有喜歡便宜一點的東西？」 老婆：「有啊！我最喜歡你了！」 萬人迷穿著超短的迷你裙進了一家洗衣店，老板李Even at 17, when you are smooth-skinned and bright eyed, is your heart as bouncy as your step, so that you rebound from one romance to the next without any bruises or broken bones? Maybe it is for some people. But never for me. I belong to that sad group ...

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毒牙利舌

9月 11, 2013

梁寄瑤

kuso

xkcd: Sandwich阿桃和阿國是辦公室裡的一對寶，常常喜歡鬥嘴，平常沒事就「吐槽」 對方。  某日，阿桃請阿國順路載她一程，好說歹說，阿國還是答應了。  到了停放機車的地方，阿桃看到阿國的機車又破又爛，忍不住又丟出一 句：「拜託！這麼破又爛的機車幹嘛還要上鎖！」  阿國瞪大眼睛看著阿桃輕蔑Warning: this comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced ... BTC 1FhCLQK2ZXtCUQDtG98p6fVH7S6mxAsEey We did not invent the algorithm. The ......

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好消息和壞消息

9月 11, 2013

小安

kuso

Urban Dictionary: refaptory period, bridesmaid wasted, you got to be fist fucking me, Netflix Bipola話說evil知道自己得了癌症時日不多,便跑去讓醫生檢查,> >>> >>隔天醫生通知他說"我有一個好消息和一個壞消息要告訴你"> >>> >>evil:好消息是....?> >>> >>醫生:你還有兩天可活> >>> >>evil:那壞消息是...?> >>> >>醫生:我昨天忘記通知你婦產科醫院的Combination of "fapping" and "refractory period." The refractory period is the recovery time during which it is physiologically impossible for a man to have another orgasm. ... "Why do I feel so awful and whose panties are these?" "Dude, you got bridesmai...

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